You're sitting on the couch next to your partner in the middle of a Netflix binge-watching session. You can't concentrate on the show, because you have something on your mind... You're waiting to tell your Significant Other about the new activity you've signed up for - but you hesitate...
What will my partner think now that I'm a pole dancer? Will my partner have any misconceptions or prejudices about my awesome new hobby? How do I gauge my partner's reaction without feeling like I'm asking permission (which of course as a fully grown adult I do not need to do!)? What about the stigma surrounding pole dance? Do I tiptoe around it? Or do I embrace it, and booty shake the taboos away??
Everyone who takes up pole dancing is eager and keen to take their first spin on the pole. But of course, there are some of us who, for the first couple of lessons, choose to keep it secret from their partner for a little while. Especially if your partner is very conservative, or has some outdated ideas about what a fitness class should be like.
Once you come out of a trial class and book into your first beginner's course, there's no turning back. For many pole dancers, their first pole class is love at first sight! You have discovered a new passion and you are now officially a pole dancer! Take the plunge and embrace the confidence, pride, and self-achievement pole dancing brings.
You'll discover that positivity breeds positivity and your partner will no doubt become very used to you heading off to pole classes, pole practice times, or other pole-related events. Soon, they won't even bat an eyelid when you start packing your gym bag with high heels and hotpants instead of stinky sneakers and trackpants.
"I booked into an introductory course and told my husband about it. He said, 'Fantastic'. It was no problem," Amanda - one of our PDA instructors - shared about her husband of 13 years.
Sometimes, it's not just the partner who finds the idea of trying a pole class intimidating. For some new beginners, attending their first pole class can be an exciting but nerve-racking event! You might feel like you aren't strong enough, that maybe you're not coordinated enough, maybe you're not sexy enough - maybe you just feel overwhelmed and you're not really sure why!
Going along with a friend may also soften the impact as both student, Ros, and PDA instructor, Lauren, recommends as it helps curve away the idea of pole dancing being taboo.
"I was nervous in signing up for a pole class," says Lauren, "I wasn't sure what to expect! But I did it with my best friend and my boyfriend was totally cool about it. I think taking a class with someone made it more approachable for me."
Pole partners are incredibly supportive!
While the attention span for most pole partners is the length of an Instagram video (if not shorter) - the overall support comes aplenty. Pole partners learn why their significant other falls in love with this form of dance/fitness/sport. Sometimes the poor pole partner might even start to feel a little neglected - so it's important to reassure them that you love them just as much as you love pole!
Beginner students and those close to them will surpass the initial nerve-wracking ideas of being a pole dancer, and embrace the physicality pole dance brings and the journey they have commenced.
Lauren shared these kind words about her boyfriend (who initially laughed, and thought wearing 7-inch heels was ridiculous!):
"Thank you for being open minded, for standing up for me, and for being supportive. For challenging me when I didn’t I believe that I could do something [a pole move or becoming an instructor]."
Amanda says that she is:
"So grateful for having someone who encourages me to be myself and to truly express myself artistically. ...I have so much gratitude and am thankful for the support at home, for his understanding and support when I want to go to endless workshops, to training sessions, and to picking me up from classes. There aren’t that many nights when I’m not doing something pole related."
Pole dancing does become a big part of a student's life, and to have a supportive partner/friend/relative/squad is one of the best things a pole dancer could have. For all parties! ;-)